Rhodes Scholar Michael Bungay Stanier’s, The Coaching Habit, has sold over 1 million copies and has been called the best coaching book of the century.
In this wide-ranging interview, Michael talks about how to tame your advice monster, how questions will empower and engage your team, which questions to ask, and we explore his new book, How to Begin, which is about turning intention into action.
Welcome to Episode 474 of the podcast. Listen and access the show notes below or search for the Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and listen for free.
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BELAY
I also want to talk about our goals in the new year.
A new year rings in new opportunities, but brings with it every bit of baggage from the year prior, including all those administrative tasks you hoped would just disappear. It’s time to get intentional—intentional with our time, talents and God-given purpose; it’s time to delegate.
With help from our friends at BELAY, let this be the year you stop juggling tasks that aren’t the best use of your time and instead delegate them to someone for whom they are.
Whether you need a virtual assistant, a bookkeeper or website specialist, BELAY has the right person ready to help you get back to growing your business. All of their specialists are highly vetted, U.S.-based, and dedicated to your exact business needs.
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Get your copy of their FREE resource “3 Tips for Setting Personal Goals as a Busy Leader” by texting CAREY to 55123.
Conversation Links
How to Begin by Michael Bungay Stanier
The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier
The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier
Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead Podcast – The Advice Trap and Staying Curious Just a Little Longer
TEDx Talks – How to Tame Your Advice Monster
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Getting Things Done by David Allen
Do the Work by Steven Pressfield
At Your Best by Carey Nieuwhof
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Insights From Michael
1. Crafting meaningful content is often about writing less, not more
Michael Bungay Stanier is the author of the million-copy bestseller, The Coaching Habit, and the upcoming book, How to Begin, so he knows a thing or two about writing. During the interview, Michael told Carey that he’s always trying to “write a shorter book.” Michael boils down his writing philosophy to a single question: “What’s the least I can write that’s the most useful?”
The value of brevity—in both writing and public speaking—is that it allows the most important parts of your content to shine through—and helps you, as a writer, distill your most valuable insights without overwhelming your listener or reader.
2. Conquer your inner “Advice Monster”
Many of us—especially those in leadership or mentorship positions—often wrestle with something Michael calls the “Advice Monster.” The Advice Monster rears its ugly head when we assume a default position of handing out advice. It’s often related to our ego—we want to add “value” to a conversation or issue, so we instinctively dole out advice (even when the person we’re talking to didn’t ask for it).
The biggest problems with the Advice Monster is:
- It can train your brain to view people as problems to be fixed
- You can begin prioritizing “quick solutions” above digging down deep to figure out what’s really going on
One of the ways to suppress our inner Advice Monsters is to, in Michael’s words, “stay curious longer.” Ask more questions and learn more about a situation or person before attempting to fix it.
3. Your big goals should be thrilling, important and daunting
Michael’s next book, How to Begin, is all about transforming your passion and ambition into worthy goals. In my Michael’s opinion, most goal-setting philosophies are too timid and self-serving. In contrast, a worthy goal is a goal that makes you excited, takes a lot of effort and serves a bigger purpose than your own interest.
What makes worthy goals scary is that they often challenge the status quo, and there are always going to be “prizes” for going along with the status quo. Therefore, pursuing a worthy goal involves embracing risk.
Quotes from Episode 474
As a leader, your job is to make your people smarter, to build their capacity, build their confidence, build their potential. @mbs_works Share on XWe unlock our greatness by working on the hard things. @mbs_works Share on XWe're actually far more committed to the status quo than we realize. And that's what often pulls us back from taking on our worthy goals. @mbs_works Share on XWhat's the least I can write that's the most useful? @mbs_works Share on XThe way that we add value is giving people the space for the key idea to land and resonate and be understood and maybe be practiced. @mbs_works Share on XRead or Download the Transcript for Episode 474
Looking for a key quote? More of a reader?
Read or download a free PDF transcript of this episode here.
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Next Episode: Dave Hollis
New York Times bestselling author and podcaster, Dave Hollis, opens up about his time at Disney as President of Sales and why Disney has become so successful. He also talks about the end of his marriage to Rachel Hollis, the pain of a public divorce, dealing with crisis, and finding resilience through crisis.
Subscribe for free now so you won’t miss Episode 475.
